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June 11, 2020
I have noticed an unhealthy trend going around, especially in the New Age Movement. Anger is perceived as a bad thing. It is labelled as a "negative feeling that must be avoided" or having "lover vibrations". I believe this thinking to be untrue.
Like with all feelings, they communicate important messages to us. We all have boundaries that we all like to have respected: physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual. And if we are lucky, we have grown up having the freedom of expressing them safely at home. However, many of us don't. Some parents oftentimes don't know how to manage their anger and wound us instead. As a result, we fear...
May 30, 2020
We all do it all the time. We show ourselves by our actions, speech, and body language. By the colours that we wear. We are our history.
We also project our pain on to others, sometimes directly or indirectly.
When we want to hide it from ourselves, we use sarcasm. Yet, this kind of leaves a bad taste in the mouth.
Psychological projection happens when we put on to another that which we find difficult or unbearable to accept in ourselves. Another way of looking at projection is recognising "the loop" that we keep repeating. Same old talk that we keep bringing it up again and again.
Think, do you find yourself bringing up the past?
Discussing it with friends or...
May 19, 2020
Time and time again I’ve come across clients and friends who say “How do I get rid of my ego?” or “ This is your ego speaking “. This is especially common in spiritual circles. It is important to know that you can’t get rid of your Ego, but you can work on having a Healthy Ego.
Getting rid of your Ego would mean being like an empty shell unable to say yes or no, unable to think, unable to do anything. Imagine personality breaking down and not functioning, that would be the bad scenario. This does happen and there are countless books about it and of the recovery too. Two that I highly recommend are “Breaking down is waking Up” by Dr Russell Razzaque, and “Spi...
July 23, 2018
When a counsellor says they take a spiritual approach to psychotherapy, it often needs further explanation as the word ‘spiritual’ may have different connotations for yourself and others.Let me begin by saying what spiritual psychotherapy is not. It is not religious. For me, there is a difference between religious – which I perceive as being based on a particular faith – and spiritual. Religious people may be spiritual, but spiritual people are not necessarily religious in terms of following a particular religion/faith.
So what is spiritual? The word itself indicates it is related to ‘spirit’. Again this can bring up different meanings and feelings for you. For me,...
July 16, 2018
What a shame! Even with the best intentions, we fall short, and feel shame. For example, I’d had a very busy week. Come Saturday morning, I thought I’d get up to speed with all my outstanding financial matters. Just as I heaved a sigh of relief on completion, I received a message chasing up a payment. I could have cried with embarrassment.
Fortunately, I have come such a very long way in my personal development. A while back I would have spent a lot of time and energy flogging myself for having been late in the first place, and then having forgotten to settle on my planned catch up day. Then I would have built up a case...
August 9, 2017
In practice I have come across a number of clients who think that deciding to enter therapy is a sign of weakness. They are afraid to tell their close friends about the choice they have made out of fear of being judged, and all the stigma that is attached to mental health. This blog is for you.
Most clients who are not pushed into therapy have come to recognise that there is something about their behaviour that continues recreating the same outcome in their lives. They have already arrived in the place where they are ready to take responsibility for their unconscious patterns. For those that are in this place, I want say that you are well on your way...
