Time and time again I’ve come across clients and friends who say “How do I get rid of my ego?” or “ This is your ego speaking “. This is especially common in spiritual circles. It is important to know that you can’t get rid of your Ego, but you can work on having a Healthy Ego. 

Getting rid of your Ego would mean being like an empty shell unable to say yes or no, unable to think, unable to do anything. Imagine personality breaking down and not functioning, that would be the bad scenario. This does happen and there are countless books about it and of the recovery too. Two that I highly recommend are “Breaking down is waking Up” by Dr Russell Razzaque, and “Spi...

When a counsellor says they take a spiritual approach to psychotherapy, it often needs further explanation as the word ‘spiritual’ may have different connotations for yourself and others.Let me begin by saying what spiritual psychotherapy is not. It is not religious. For me, there is a difference between religious – which I perceive as being based on a particular faith – and spiritual. Religious people may be spiritual, but spiritual people are not necessarily religious in terms of following a particular religion/faith.

So what is spiritual? The word itself indicates it is related to ‘spirit’. Again this can bring up different meanings and feelings for you. For me,...

What a shame!  Even with the best intentions, we fall short, and feel shame.  For example, I’d had a very busy week.  Come Saturday morning, I thought I’d get up to speed with all my outstanding financial matters.   Just as I heaved a sigh of relief on completion, I received a message chasing up a payment.  I could have cried with embarrassment.  

Fortunately, I have come such a very long way in my  personal development.  A while back I would have spent a lot of time and energy flogging myself for having been late in the first place, and then having forgotten to settle on my planned catch up day.  Then I would have built up a case...

If you find yourself bringing up the past  and discussing it with friends or even strangers looking for their acceptance or approval of your behaviour and consequences. Then you're not alone ...

Then you're probably  defining yourself by your past choices and as a result are suffering. 

As long as there is this need in you for you to tell someone of your past choices in search of acceptance or forgiveness, that in itself is a sign of your own self rejection. When you forgive/accept that in yourself, there is no need for external validation. 

With great help I’ve come to know that and I want to invite you to accept my guidance in return. 

Although...

In practice I have come across a number of clients who think that deciding to enter therapy is a sign of weakness. They are afraid to tell their close friends about the choice they have made out of fear of being judged, and all the stigma that is attached to mental health. This blog is for you.

Most clients who are not pushed into therapy have come to recognise that there is something about their behaviour that continues recreating the same outcome in their lives. They have already arrived in the place where they are ready to take responsibility for their unconscious patterns. For those that are in this place, I want say that you are well on your way...